MY LIFE

my life where do i start my family moved to wales when i was 5 my dad had a nervous breakdown or so my older sister later told me he used to knock my mother around quite a lot apparently she used to hide in my bed so he couldn't get to her but i must have not remembered or blocked it out he moved her away from her family so he could live by his in wales he carried on knocking her about for as long as i could remember i used to run from our house to the police station in my nightdress thinking he would kill her or my two older,brothers who tried to help out but all they did was phone him to come and get me i would have been about 7 or 8 at the time running through the dark streets we had a house fire which nearly killed him when i was 11 my nan and granddad came to look after us while he was in cheptow hospital he was there for about 6 months my poor mother had to get there and back she didn't drive so relied on people to take her she was so worn down by then that she carried on going the old house we lived in was haughnted weird things used to happen when i was about 8 i found one of our cats frozen stiff in the back yard in the middle of summer when he was ok half an hour earlier and when my nan came down one morning to make breakfast for us befor school she opend the dining room door and screamed we all came running to find out what was the matter there was a black spiral in the corner of the dining room just spinning the old dog we had at the time stood up on his hind legs and started growling any way when my dad got better and came home we put the house on the market and moved to a newer house it was much better my mum and older sister new it was haunted as before we moved in when the workmen had finished on it they went to view it they got to the top floor and all the lights went out they ran out and looked back there was a old lady staring out of the living room window at them when i was about 8 or 9 my uncle touched me i was so shocked about it i kept it to my self for 5 years when i started to go off the rails in school i was un teachable or so they said thats when i broke down and told my mum who told my dad it was hushed up in the family i fell pregnant when i was 15 my dad made me have an abortion a thing i never got over i met my ex husband after that things where ok for a while i went on to have two sons i thought i had the family life i always wanted then out of the blue my ex husband told me he had an affair when i was expecting my second son it tore my heart out i took an overdose the docter put me on prozac i thought i would never get over it but managed to cope thought i had when i fell pregnant with my eldest daughter but he carried cheating on me and giving me mental abuse thought this life was all i deserved really got used to it being the norm really i had a break for 4 years from having any more kids things wernt getting any easier i was on and off Prozac for years any way i fell pregnant with my youngest daughter when i was about 7 months pregnant i fount him in our bed with another woman he punched me in the face knocking me out and breaking my nose the hospital called the police they wanted to prosecute but i wouldn't because i loved him we had a holiday about year and a half later where he ran me over and tried to kill me by running me over with his car when we got home i went to see a solicitor to file for divorce we were divorced by the end of the year it was very hard as i still loved him hard habit to break after 15 years together i met another guy later on was with him for about 6 years he started to knock me about so i got rid of him iv since met my sole mate who has helped me loads wish there was some way i could repay him i dream off winning i little bit on the lottery just enough so i could treat him to something special but dreams are all we have i have been suffering ME for about 3 years some days its good some its bad my hubby's patience with me never fails feel such a burden to him at times i could do a lot more if i was better we have so many debts so no money left to treat him my kids are wonderful except my eldest daughter who has cut me out of her life at the moment and moved 90 miles away with a man she met off the internet who is 14 years older than her and an ex junky i still love her though like i do with all my kids if it wasn't for them i wouldn't still be here im still on antidepressants and got a cyst on my overy and waiting to see the doctor thats my life good and bad but its mine all i can remember any way a lot i think iv blocked out.